Mom's Survey

My mom’s been taking a poll at the nursing home. She’s been asking everyone she comes in contact with to name three things that they like about themselves. She tells me that it’s a hard question for people to answer. She says that you can tell what a person is like when they answer that question. You can see how secure they are, or how shallow they are. You can even tell if they tell the truth or not.

After a lengthy conversation of the outcome of her survey, I asked her the same question. She was surprised that I asked her. She had just asked me though, so I thought it only natural for me ask her. She had to think about it for a long time, but then she came up with about eight things that she liked. Turns out she likes herself a lot! I was impressed.

I was impressed because of the way she could answer the question. She went into detail about why she liked these characteristics of her being; the detail was incredible. Here’s a woman who had a few strokes and heart attacks over the last year, has diabetes, cannot walk because she has no muscle tone to hold her body up, is in constant pain, and has probably had an undiagnosed mental illness all her life, but she’s still able to hold a conversation in the kind of depth that would blow you away. She’s grateful to be alive, and after all that’s happened to her, she has every reason to be miserable.

I have not been fond of my mother for years. She’s done some things to me that have been completely unacceptable. I needed separation for many years in order to change the way I thought about her. Here I am though, every Wednesday discussing things with her that I never thought I would ever discuss with her again. I’m not sure of my feelings about us, but I must say that I am amazed at how she is handling her life now. I hope that when my time comes, I can find some of the happiness that she is able to muster up, because it really is making her strong enough to be alive and see everyday as a blessing. I guess these days that we have together are a blessing too. Life is really amazing isn’t it?

Until next time: as we move through the day, think about the people that you have made smile or just feel good. That’s a pretty nice gift to give. So even if you don’t get a thank you, know that you made a difference, because when they smile, they probably made someone else smile. As simple as that is, it may be a reason someone is grateful to be alive.